Gratitude is Coming
A maple tree in the Niagara Gorge outside Niagara Falls, NY
It’s that time of year where we all go to stores and look at the displays of Christmas yard decorations and lament the fact that it’s not even Thanksgiving yet. Grocery stores have begun to increase their supplies of canned pumpkin, broths, and stuffing mixes. The frozen turkeys are on their way if they’ve not already arrived. And here and there you find articles or posts about being grateful.
The historical foundation myth of Thanksgiving centers on cooperative relationships between European settlers and indigenous people living on the Northeastern coast—themes of gratitude and harvests abound. Now we over eat a meal that in many houses straddles the line between lunch and dinner; we watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade; and football games dominate the afternoon. How many of us actually take time for actual gratitude on Thanksgiving? It's a secular holiday, but the thought of everyone expressing gratitude at the dinner table somehow feels a bit awkward if not a smidge religious. There is something about public or pseudo-public admission of gratitude that leaves us feel a bit exposed.
The oddness of it all aside, gratitude is good for ya. There are countless studies complied over decades by everyone from well honed research clinical psychologist to online snake-oil gurus and all of them agree that there are massive benefits for not only being grateful but also expressing that gratitude as well. It’s rare that such a span of folks can agree on things, and what’s funnier still, is that they are entirely correct.
That being said, however, there’s a catch. It is not enough to take the next 2 or 5 or even 30 minutes to think of what you are grateful for and express gratitude. Gratitude is not like a vaccine that can inoculate you against a darker future. It takes time and a bit of perseverance. You will have to start a gratitude practice and you will need to keep it up.
Luckily, you can have a really effective daily gratitude practice in less time than it takes for a Duolingo lesson or even in about the same amount of time it takes to walk from the bathroom to your bed, or to walk to your car in the morning or to a bus stop or a train… you see where I’m going with this.
The view from my home in Buffalo—so grateful to see that tree each year.
Here’s how you start. Put a reminder in your phone or on your fridge—wherever you put reminders that you’ll see every day. And every time it’s time for your gratitude practice, simply take a good, cleansing, deep breath and mentally set an intention for your practice. For example, I often say something to the effect of, “I’m going to use these next moments to be grateful for the things in my life.” And then take a moment to think of 3 things outside of yourself that you are grateful for. The options are nearly endless—the day’s sunshine, the smile of a stranger, your morning coffee, your family or friends, breath…
Once you’ve mentally expressed gratitude for 3 things (it could be more—no sense in limiting one’s gratitude!), take another quick moment to thank yourself for your practice. And, then go about your business. Over time, people who regularly engage in gratitude practice consistently report living happier and more fulfilled lives. The gratitude gets easier, and they naturally feel more grateful for more things outside of their practices. You won’t notice it in the moment, but if you stick with it (even for just a month or so), you will be able to look back and see a difference in yourself.
And that is something to be grateful for.