Can Sex Improve Your Sleep

A lot of my clients complain about poor sleep, and so in some of my content, I’ve been sharing research-backed ways to address poor sleep and get better rest.  Some of you have been sending me questions about all of this and about sleep in general—which I love, please keep reaching out. Its great.  But one question in particular came in, that I thought would be interesting to tackle.  So this time around I am going to be talking about the relationship between sleep and sex.

Before we dig into anything though, its really important to note.  Anything sexual has to be entirely safe and entirely consensual—in every way.  Also, everything I am sharing in this video, is intended to help you—consenting adults—learn about ways to increase and better your wellness.  The physical intimacy that I’m going to be talking about applies whether you are flying solo or your with a partner, although partnered sex has stronger backing throughout the research.  And, speaking of research, as always, the information I’m sharing is backed by published data from scholars and academics in the field.

So here we go.

Overall, every indicator that I have seen shows that sex can positively impact sleep by triggering the release of hormones like oxytocin and prolactin, which promote relaxation and sleepiness, and also by reducing levels of a primary stress hormone called cortisol.

But here's a more detailed look.

Oxytocin is often called the "love hormone," It gets released within our bodies for a few different reasons, and one of those reasons is sexual activity.  When oxytocin is released in this way, it leads to feelings of connection, bonding, satisfaction, and relaxation.  Oxytocin, itself, however, has a pretty short half-life, and largely dissipates within 15 minutes or so.  That being said, however, the other associated effects of oxytocin—in terms of cognition and other more secondary reactions in the body (like that more relaxed state) can last longer.

Prolactin, is another hormone and its primarily released during orgasm.  And while prolactin serves a number of roles in our bodies, it plays a direct role in regulating sleep and can actually induce a drowsy feeling.  It largely dissipates, returning to baseline levels in about an hour, and some research has found that its overall effects on the body can last longer—particularly for men.

Sex can also help lower levels of cortisol, a hormone associated with stress.  When stress is high, cortisol levels tend to go up and stay up until the stress is addressed.  Elevated levels of cortisol can be beneficial, its the stuff that our adrenal glads make that get us ready to go for the fight or flight response.  It is a hormone that increases blood sugar, heart rate, and blood pressure to help us really get going when we have to.  Cortisol, however, can really cause some problems as well, especially over time.  Our bodies are not made to stay in “flight or flight” mode as a way of life.  And high cortisol levels can really interfere with sleep—which is one of the reasons you may not sleep well if you’re feeling stressed out.  When cortisol levels drop, however, we are left feeling more relaxed and we’re able to get better sleep.  And sex is something that help accomplish that.

Beyond the chemistry set stuff, all of these hormonal and chemical shifts inside our body lead to physical and emotional benefits.  The physical intimacy of partnered sex can lead to deep relaxation, and can even quiet the mind making it easier to fall asleep.  Although even if you’re flying solo achieving a measure of sexual satisfaction can still help bring about deeper relaxation and facilitate easier sleep.  Likewise, the combination of hormonal changes and this sort of relaxation can contribute to better sleep quality and a deeper, more restful night’s sleep.

In terms of an insomnia diagnosis, some research suggests that sex could hold some potential for relief, as an alternative or addition to other strategies for treatment.  I’ll be completely honest, my verdict is out on that one.  A 2016 study from the University of Ottawa noted that sex could help with insomnia, but it really depends on they type of insomnia you have, what’s causing it, and how intense or acute your insomnia is.  Now, its important to know that when we talk in terms of research and insomnia, we’re taking about folks who have been given a diagnosis of insomnia from a qualified medical professional.  But I’m a bit dubious about this study’s claim because if you have insomnia because you have sleep apnea that is caused by the physical shape and architecture of your throat, a release of hormones and relaxation may not resolve your sleep issues.  But regardless, I very much like data driven decision making, and I very much like to defer to those who know more than I.  So if ever in doubt, research and find out.

As with many things in life, sleep is complex and complicated.  And while some diagnoses have specific and effective treatments, It is often the case that there is no one thing that will resolve all of your sleep trouble.  And the same is especially true of sex.  Just having sex at bed time is probably not going to resolve all of your sleep issues.  It could be one contributing factor to better sleep, but you’re probably going to need to do other things as well.  Things like establishing consistent, helpful sleep and wake times; eating right and at the right times; working to remediate and address both sources of stress in your life and how you deal with stress in your life.  And of course, consulting a qualified medical or healthcare professional when issues don’t resolve after you’ve made a good effort on your own.

Now, one more piece of information that you may find interesting.  Although it won’t exactly help you sleep, but… Studies have shown a correlation between sex before bed and feeling motivated and ready to tackle tasks the next day.  Its unclear as to exactly what mechanisms are at play, however, it appears that the chemical and emotional shifts brought about by sex the night before has lingering and positive effects on how you feel the next day.

So, a quick recap, sex can have a positive impact on sleep and can improve its quality.  It may have some application as part of a larger strategy in the face of insomnia.  And it has positive impact on stress and relaxation which are two areas that absolutely have implications for better sleep.  So there you have it, the truth behind sleep and sex.

And, if you're navigating some challenging times or looking improve your life, reach out, lets talk.  I am a holistic counselor and coach and every day, I offer compassionate, gentle guidance that helps my clients find greater peace and tap into their own inner strength.

I want to thank the National Institutes for Health, as well as information provided and research carried out by the Mayo Clinic, the Cleveland Clinic, Harvard University, The National Sleep Foundation, Psychology Today, and others for doing the hard work that fueled the information shared in this article.